Everytime We Touch
by Silver Ribbons
Summary: Emma was a complete mess when Sean left. Now that he's back, and she's with Peter, how will she handle it? Semma.


DISCLAIMER- I do not own anything except myself. I do not own Degrassi, or its characters. However, I do own any original characters I may or may not make up in the process.

NOTE: If I have any facts wrong, please do not point them out. I wrote this story this way for a reason, so I probably made the fact different so it could fit my story. Thank you.

**-FLASHBACK-**

I watched his body grow farther and farther away, Jay's music blaring in the background. I wanted to leave that car. My heart keeps telling me to yank open the door and jump out of the slowly moving vehicle, run to Sean and beg him not to leave me. My feet disagreed, staying firmly in place on the bottom of Jay's car.

Ellie was saying something to me, but I was too busy trying to take a picture of Sean in my mind. When would I ever see him again? Never, probably. Why wasn't Ellie in the backseat trying to take mental pictures of him? Why hasn't she jumped out of the car, why hasn't she ran to Sean and begged him not to leave? Why hasn't she told him she needs him and she can't live without him?

It was because she didn't. She doesn't think she needs him, but I did. I know I need him, I know I can't live without him. I know I love him, he saved my life. A thousand 'what if's' ran through my head, killing me. I saw all the opportunities I missed to take him back, I saw every time we were together.

Memories of Sean swirled around in my head, and then I remembered Rick. Sean had saved me from a gun, risked his own life for mine. If that's not love, I don't know what is.

Jay's car sped up a little, and I saw Sean turn around and start towards his parents' house. Yellow paint and feathers interrupted my thoughts of Sean, making my brain go crazy. I saw Rick again, his words repeating over and over in my mind. I tried to push him aside, I couldn't remember. I wouldn't remember. That wasn't real. It's all a horrible nightmare and I'm going to wake up anytime soon.

The memories wouldn't leave. They sat there in my mind and I heard gunshots. I saw blood, I saw Rick's crazed eyes. I couldn't breathe, and I tried to get Ellie or Jay's attention. What was happening to me? My chest tightened, and I struggled to breathe. My body felt overwhelmingly hot, and I could feel my heart beating rapidly as I tried to breathe.

I yanked the car door handle, and the car door flew open. "Hey, Green Peace! Where you going?" Jay yelled, but I didn't reply from a mixture of my body's refusal to breathe and my need to beg Sean not to leave me. Not now, when I needed him the most.

"Is…Is she going back?" I heard Ellie say, and I started running back. "Emma!" I heard Ellie yell, but I didn't go back. My body seemed to calm down, content with the fact I was going back.

"Sean!" I yelled, almost colliding into the front gate. I stumbled backward from surprise, and Sean turned towards me. His hand was on the doorknob, and I caught him just in time. "Sean." I said desperately, and opened the gate.

"I thought you were going back, Em," Sean said, and I noticed a quick expression of hopefulness in his eyes. Did he want a reason to stay at Degrassi, and was just waiting for it? The look quickly was gone, and I wish he didn't do that. He had a wall up, and I was slowly, but surely, bringing it down before we broke up. That wall quickly rebuilt when we broke up, and grew even stronger when I did what I did to him. "Uh, did you forget something?" Sean asked, and I knew that wasn't what he was thinking.

"Sean, you…" The words wouldn't come out, my mind knew what to say but my lips couldn't seem to move. My body made me come back, and now I couldn't say the words that I wanted to. "Uh…" I said, looking down at the ground. _Come on Emma, you protest. You speak your mind all the time, why can't you do this now? _I thought, and I looked up at Sean.

"You saved my life." I said, as if it explained everything. Sean's hand dropped from the knob, and he rubbed the back of his neck, his eyebrows raised. "Emma, you already told me that." He said desperately, and I nodded. I bit my lip, and looked in his eyes, searching for any sign. There was none, and I considered turning around and leaving. My chest grew tighter, as if threatening another panic attack.

"You saved my life, Sean. You risked your own life for mine." I sighed impatiently, thinking over my words. "When I was in that car, I realized something. Ellie is your girlfriend-" "Was." Sean corrected, and I stepped closer to the porch, looking up at him.

"Ellie was your girlfriend. And there she was, talking to Jay as if nothing happened. As if you were just leaving for a week and coming back. But there I was, trying to take a mental picture of you. I didn't want to forget you. I didn't know when I was going to see you again, if I ever was going to. I…I don't want to lose you, Sean." I felt embarrassed at the idea, me being so desperate that I tried to take a mental picture of him.

"Em-" Sean said, walking down the creaky porch stairs. I shook my head, and continued. "We were broken up for so long that I guess…" I couldn't find the words I wanted to say. Everything made perfect sense in my brain, but I knew when it would come out it wouldn't make any sense.

"Okay, listen. We were broken up for so long I got used to the fact not having you." I said, and Sean opened his mouth to talk, but I kept talking. I had to get it all out, no interruptions. "But I got used to the fact not having you, not to the fact that I was loosing you. I didn't see all the opportunities to get you back until they were too late. And now you're staying here in Wasaga. Right when I need you the most, you're leaving. Please don't leave, Sean." I pleaded, stepping closer to Sean. "Please?"

Sean blinked twice. "Can I talk now?" I nodded, not daring to laugh and ruin a serious moment.

"Emma, are you sure you're actually serious about this? You just got a gun pointed to your head, and now you're asking me to come back?" My heart deflated and sunk to my feet. That wasn't the answer I wanted. I wanted him to come back, now.

"I just want everything to go back to when we were together… And happy." I said quietly, and shook my head. "This was stupid, what was I thinking?" I muttered.

"Emma, I'm sorry. This is where I need to be, okay? You need to go home. Talk to your mother, or something." Sean said, walking away.

"No, Sean!" I yelled, and he walked back up the wooden porch steps. "I'm over you." Sean said suddenly.

Tears filled up in my eyes, my throat became dry, and I took off running down the road. I wished Sean yelled my name, made me come back, and tell me he'll come back. He didn't, and I reached Jay's car, where Ellie and Jay were waiting impatiently. I got into Jay's car, where his obnoxious music was blaring.

"Emma, what's wrong with you?" Ellie asked, not even trying to beat around the bush. Jay looked up at the car mirror at me. "Nothing. Just drive. Now!" I said, turning my face away. Tears dropped from my face, and Jay started driving.

**-END OF FLASHBACK-**


End file.
